Women

Hey again. Just me sitting up at 6 o'clock in the morning feeling like expressing myself once again to the soothing sounds of key strokes. There has been alot on my mind as of late. Pretty sure you know what this blog might be about though eh? I've been trying to lie down and sleep for the past couple of hours, but my mind has been going a mile a minute tonight. Plain and simple fact is that I miss having the company of a woman by my side. Feeling the warmth of a woman's body and listening to the little noises they make while they fall asleep. I very much do miss that feeling I used to have.

There are your typical advantages of course about having someone of the opposite sex around, but I'll try not to get into that since as of right now that's not what I'm seeking per se. I just want someone here to lie down with me and someone I can cuddle in my arms while they sleep. Sometimes just having that is alot better than sex, and I'm sure there are a couple people that might agree with that. It's just nice to wake up and see that person smiling at you. It makes you feel like your the king of the world. Like with just that little smile, kiss, or snuggle into your arms makes you feel like you could conquer that whole damn world. Know what I'm saying? If not I don't know if you can pass as human. Everyone needs some sort of affection every now and again.

If you can't tell obviously I'm very much attracted to someone right now and in all honesty want to be with them sleeping right now. I sure hope you've figured that out. If not, don't tell me. Anyway, but yes that's what this is about. I am sort of falling for someone right now. If you know me well enough you know this to possibly be a bad thing to. I don't have too much of a problem hooking up with someone I know won't go anywhere, but when that opportunity arises that hey I could be someone in this person's life, I sure do know how to fuck up royally bad in that department. If Aaron is reading this he is probably nodding his head with a smile on his face, cause he knows how much of a problem it is for me.

My roomate and I had a decent chat tonight about the philosophies of life and how we interpret things we deal with everyday and I came to the conclusion that I think into things way to much. I really do. I think more or less about the potential consequences of my actions more than anything. Not that I do anything bad or anything, but when I know something is just not going right, I think about how that could affect me and a person's attitude towards me. I pick at every single detail in my mind and try to analyze the situation the best I can and then wonder how could I have done this better. I will admit and this is not me getting to down on myself or anything, my confidence is just fine, but I do feel rather inadequate sometimes. It just feels like I'm falling into a hole or something and I can't get out. I get so lost in thought about what I could have done that I almost want to attach a mute button in my head and just go with it, but it's hard for me. Another problem of mine and I will emphasize and once again some of you know this all to well...I do fall hard and fast. Good thing I also know things do mature with time.....

New Blogspot

Hey how's it going everyone? This is where I will now continue my blogging that I do so enjoy every now and again. Right now I'm just sitting here listening to a little Ed Alleyne-Johnson and his album Purple Electric Violin Concerto. Nothing like it actually. Used to listen to it back in high school alot, but I haven't listened till now since then. A nice rock violin album. Check it out.

Anyway I suppose I'll move on and let you good folks get the lowdown on what's been going on with me as of recent. Still working out at the station in town here. Been doing it for 6 months and hate every day of it. I hear about the gas prices all day and I'm tired of it, but I won't quit. I just can't believe the damn politics that go into working at a gas station. Started another job today though, which was kinda fun. I'm also now cooking at a small cafe in the next town. Get paid everyday so I can have some spending cash now.

I think everyday on how I should get a jumpstart on my life ya know? Get out there and get my ass a good full time job and make some money and plan my whole future out. Then I stop...and take a good look around and realize something. I watch all the kids my age that I hang out with and I see what they are doing...same thing I am, and having a good time. I look at myself and go...these are my glory years. I'm supposed to be having fun right now and not worry about the future. The more I worry about it the faster it will come and I will miss it all. I just gotta keep my head on straight and be smart and I'll be alright. Even with my tight/limited budget I still manage to have a good day everyday. I have good friends right now that know how to keep me in the most awesome of spirits. Got Morgan who I currently live with. We both have the exact same interests and know how to keep entertained. Got Candy downstairs who is a single mom, 22 and still manages to keep on smiling. We have a good time and she has the greatest smile that keeps me around. Of course there is also everyone else I have, but these 2 are the ones that know my whole life right now, so that's why I'm only mentioning them.

Gotta say though I'm very excited to see how the next couple years unfold in my life and in the U.S. Alot of good candidates for presidency and the best thing is Bush cannot run again thank gods. Mike Gravel is looking the most promising in my eyes, cause either he's so good at spewing bullshit or he's actually gonna get shit done. Plus he wants to change one particular law that would just be the greatest thing to happen to this country. I won't get into it here though. As for my life though it seems kinda wishy washy. So many things are going so wrong yet so right right now. I'm broke as a fucking joke and I don't know how I'm going to get to keep driving here soon. I gotta get my tabs changed before June, but I have to get a whole bunch of other shit done first to do that and it requires alot of money. I really don't know what to do, but I hope everything will turn out alright. Talks about moving as well. Time to move on already. Morgan and I came to this agreement the other night that these towns here will consume you. You must never stay too long than you can. He said something about some country called Canada and I said that that would be awesome, so we might look into it later.

By the way if you were wondering. I did delete my myspace account. I got tired of all the spam and all the bullshit so I said forget it and got rid of it. Facebook is working out much better than I thought. But I suppose I will get going now and get some laundry done. Also though one more note. I have a new e-mail address now as well it's caspercreep@gmail.com I'll also be getting rid of my hotmail address soon and strictly use that one from now on. So now you know. Later.